Anything, just not a Smartphone

This is a non-Smartphone zone. They are not permitted here. If you're in possession of one, or even worse, are using one to view this website, I hope you consider flushing it down the toilet and getting yourself a more retro handset after reading this post. I recently read a story in a newspaper about some guy (a Smartphone user) who got stabbed and was bleeding out quite badly. He needed help, like, instantly. So, losing blood and in a right panic, he pulled out his Smartphone to call himself an Ambulance, but couldn't use it because the blood on his hands from the stab wound had covered the surface of the phones screen. And because its touchscreen, this prevented him from being able to use the Smartphone to call for help.

Now, whether or not his panicked state led to him being too emotionally all over the place to make the call, I'm not sure. But do you think this would have happened with a non-Smartphone. Or at least, a phone with actual buttons. I doubt it. I mean yeah, he must have been in a right state, and no doubt have found it harder than usual to make the call. Who wouldn't when your feeling light headed and all you can see is blood coming out in flow motion. But wow, to not even achieve the task at all thanks to the technology not working at its most vital time of need. If it wasn't such a serious story I'd say it was ironically hilarious. What a let down. I wanna find this phone, and I want to hurt it. That phone deserves to die a horrific death.


Look at it from this guys position. Here you have this "Smart" phone that can do everything except scratch your a** for ya (or can it?), and the one time you really need it for something other than to look at Facebook "friends" you've never met, or head down pretending to do something on it to avoid social awkwardness, it won't work. The now considered old, but not yet obsolete design of real buttons are much more reliable in real times of need, as they would have proved to be in this case.

This is just another example of why old school is, most of the time, better. And, another excuse for me to criticize the build quality and design flaws of Smartphones. I'm always putting them down. They deserve it. The amount I see on a weekly basis (no, I don't work for Carphone Warehouse) that are broken in some way is laughable. The most common fault being the classic character trait of Smartphones, the badge of phone brand dishonor, the cracked screen.

I wouldn't be surprised if this poor guy who was painting the town red owned a Smartphone that also had a cracked screen, and perhaps that had something to do with it being even more unusable when the blood covered it. Totally out of order, like a payphone with the mouthpiece removed. Yeah, Smartphones may have IP67 and IP68, but what use is that when they are so flimsy. Fairly waterproof then, but obviously not blood proof enough to perform the most basic task of a "mobile phone", to make a call when your life depends on it. Phone Companies need to spend more time making a tougher, more durable product, rather than just using the type of materials usually reserved for disposable / throw away products, and then cramming them full of so many resource-sapping features that the battery lasts about an hour.

Did you know, Smartphone batteries are so appalling that there's a whole new market place that's been created just for them. What's that then? Well, it's this box-like thing that reminds me of when mobile phones first came out and you had to carry not only the phone (which sat on top), but a fridge sized battery pack with it. They were called a Transportable. They have made a comeback for Smartphones. Now they're called Portable Battery Chargers. In 2017 - 2018, for one with a decent sized mAh capacity they are about the size of a slab of chocolate and charge the Smartphone battery when it inevitably runs out half way through the day.

The user is expected to carry this chocolate slab around in a bag, all day. Ready for when the times comes to recharge. Portable Battery Chargers are getting smaller, but you shouldn't need to carry any additional item around with you, regardless of size, so that your phone can successfully make it through the day. If you're going away to a festival or other event then yes, but not for your average work day.

The problem is, Smartphone batteries haven't evolved to anywhere near the same level as the technology now found in Smartphones. They aren't able to handle the demanding energy requirements, like Operating Systems, fast RAM, resource hungry Apps and audio / video playback that Smartphones are packed with. As a result, they drain very quickly. When it comes to mobile phones, old school is more dependable for the absolute, most crucial basics.

In other news: I haven't been updating this website that much. Actually, this is the first time this year. But I will be doing so more in the near future. I'll be posting some reviews on old Nokia's, basic Samsung's and also a few talking about some of the smallest cellphones currently out there for sale. Stay tuned.

Pretending To Talk On a Mobile Phone

Pretending to talk on a mobile phone is something people usually associate with little kids / babies playing around, trying to mimic what they see grown ups doing, usually using Mommy's or Daddies real phone, or a toy phone that doesn't function. But, I wonder how many adults do, or have done this but would never admit to it. So many people suffer with social anxiety, specially in crowded places like city centres etc, that it does seem like a good method to help get through an anxious episode by pretending to talk on a mobile phone. Is this a new phenomena? Has it been around since the early days of the vintage brick phones, or has it become more "known" / mainstream due to the massive increase of people now owning a cellphone..

Faking a phone call also has other uses. See someone you don't want to talk to? Just pretend your on the phone. Feeling a bit uneasy in unfamiliar surroundings..That's a good reason. Want to get out of a certain social situation? Fake a phone call.. Some phones actually have a fake call option built in. Although perhaps a bit sinister, this could be a great help if you're someone who sells items face to face.

Is anybody really there...

You could make out that someone else has called you interested in the item you have for sale when another buyer is with you looking it over. Make out someone is really interested, and say something like "You want to come and view it now? Someone is just looking at it at the moment, if they don't buy it I will give you a callback". I imagine in some cases that would have the desired effect and help in sealing the deal.

This feature is found in quite a few of the cheap Samsung phones. I don't know about the newer phones (Smartphones) as I don't own one. I prefer basic retro phones with as less features as possible. Is an E-2600 a Smartphone? I'm not sure, but I don't think it is. I know the Samsung E1080i has a fake call feature because I have tried it out. However, when I have pretended to be on the phone (Yes, I admit, I have done it) I never used the fake call feature.

You only do that if you want the people who you are with, or in close proximity to, to actually hear the phone ringing. If you are alone and are doing it because you feel a little anxious or have a panic attack, just turn the phone off and put it to your ear. Turning it off also eliminates the radiation (Head + Body SAR levels) that's emitted by the phone (Yep, this is the case even when the cellphone is powered on, but not in use).

The funny thing is, that you never really know if someone is faking it or not. Unless their phone starts ringing while they've got it to their ear, while they were apparently deep in conversation! Amateurs. However, people who are more clued up with this method will either put the phone on to silent mode, or turn it off all together. I wonder who the best faker out there is..

Maybe they should make some kind of game out of it where you have to guess whether someone is really having a conversation or not. Best guesser wins a phone. And the best faker gets a small part in a film where they need someone, an extra, to pretend to be on the phone in one of the scenes. Nah, I don't think it would work. It's very hard, almost too hard, to tell if someone is really having a conversation or not.

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